Theory of "Least Shit" 💩

Next time you read “Good for the environment” or “better for the environment”, take it with a grain of salt.

Almost nothing humans do is actually “good” for the environment. Particularly when it comes to the purchases we make each and every day! Every single thing we do impacts the environment and THE natural world. I originally wrote “OUR” natural world. But we don’t own it. We just happen to live here.

No place, system, or ecology exists on this planet that humans have not impacted. The impact humans have had in the last 100 years is the most significant change to Earth since the dinosaurs became extinct. As individuals, it is hard to comprehend how our individual actions impact the entire planet. To realise this, you must scale your thinking. “What would the impact be on the plant if every human alive today did what I am doing?”

This is a variation of “Think Globally, Act Locally”. But I will bring this to how we act at the supermarket! Every small decision we make as a manufacturer, farmer, merchandiser, marketer, or consumer impacts our environment.

The absolute “BEST” we can hope for is reducing our environmental impact when we purchase something. It is NEVER going to be “good” for the environment.

“BUT HOW?” I hear you ask… If nothing is good, do I starve myself? Do I have to go off-grid and start farming my own produce? Well, no, not quite. Because if every human alive on the planet did that, we would run out of land pretty quickly. But I do have something for you. I have been using the framework for some time now and am excited to share it with you!

I call it the “Theory of Least Shit”.

It’s pretty basic. When you next purchase, make or grow something, as yourself, “Is this the least shit option?“.

Let’s expand it a bit. “Is this the least shit option for the environment?

Here is a real-life example to help with understanding. My son LOVES corn. I have yet to expose him to the music by the 90s band KORN. This I will save for a few years. But he sure does love corn!

So, how can I apply the “Theory of Least Shit” when I purchase corn from the supermarket? Let’s start by taking a look at the available options:

• Frozen Corn.
• Canned Corn.
• Corn on the cob, husk removed. (in a plastic bag).
• Corn on the cob, husk remains. Growing corn right now is not an option here in Victoria. So that’s off the table for this week.

We will rate each option from shittest to least shit to demonstrate the “Least shit” purchase. This is like your 5-star health label but in reverse. The less shit, the better!

1. 💩💩💩💩 Corn on the cob, husk removed. (in a plastic bag).
   • ❌ Unnecessary use of plastic.
   • ❌ Energy required to process corn.
2. 💩💩💩 Frozen Corn.
   • ❌ In a plastic bag.
   • ❌ Energy required to process and keep frozen.
   • ✅ Handy for sprained ankles and the like.
3. 💩💩 Canned Corn.
   • ✅ Can be stored for ages. Lasts for 5 + years.
   • ✅ “Tin” cans are actually made from Steel or Aluminium. They are also “infinitely recyclable”!
   • ✅ It is cheaper to recycle aluminium than it is to mine it. Metal recycling is profitable!
4. 💩 Corn on the cob, husk remains.
   • ✅ No packaging,
   • ✅ Fun to prepare
   • ✅ Rejoice in the knowledge you have selected the LEAST SHIT OPTION!
   • ⚠️ Avoid plastic produce bags! You don’t need them! Just put the corn straight in your basket or trolley!

There you have it. This is a simple example that I hope helps you understand the basics of the the “Theory of Least Shit”. Let’s look at the shit scale in more detail.

The Shit Scale

• 💩💩💩💩💩 The shittest of the shit.
• 💩💩💩💩⬜ Absolute shit storm.
• 💩💩💩⬜⬜ Shit storm.
• 💩💩⬜⬜⬜ Shit.
• 💩⬜⬜⬜⬜ Least shit.

This scale can be applied to almost any decision you make in life. Today, I don’t have time for any more shit. But there will be a lot more shit next Wednesday. More examples to to come in the weeks ahead.

We will start using this model to rate packaging, products, and companies to help you make the best “least shit” decisions you possibly can when you next visit the supermarket.

Until next Wednesday!